I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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