Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
