You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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