You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
