Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
