***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
