Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
