If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
