his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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