It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Do you have feelings for this penis?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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