If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
