I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
