that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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