why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
