i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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