I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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