I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
