Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
