hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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