How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
