the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
