No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i dont even know how to be here
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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