Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
