your room smells of hookers.
And success
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
this hospital has no fireball
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
