just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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