I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How does one acquire holy water?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
