when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So squirting runs in the family.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
