dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
