Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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