why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
