I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
