It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
