you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
