me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
