She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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