What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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