dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
