I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
