No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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