I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
