i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
