You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
