first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
