we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
