i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
