I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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