Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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