he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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