this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
