it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
