saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
