What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
