For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
