He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
